I have been too sad to speak up ever since Amos left for the past 3 months but I'm feeling more and more helpless now. I need help, but I think Amos definitely needs more help than me.
So many people have been asking me where Amos is, expecting me to know. Same as all of you, I would like to know where he is. I wonder who would be the lucky one. Is he on the run? Is he safe?
Does he have enough money for food and lodging? How can he survive on his own without any help? Why has he been quiet online for so long?
These are the questions that follow after 12th Dec 2015 which was the last day I saw him. He disappeared after receiving the police letter handed to him personally at our doorstep. Afterwards, he just kept quiet, and paced furiously around the house. I went to sleep at night and the next morning, he was gone.
A few days after Amos ran away, the police came over to my house and I thought that they were going to say that they had found Amos. However, they didn't. Instead, they just asked me if I knew where he was, which I did not, and said that Amos needed to go for a rescheduled investigation on 22nd Dec 2015. Adding on to my anxiety, an inspector called me when Amos didn't turn up for the health check-up he had to attend for National Service.
Obviously he did not attend, otherwise he would have been arrested on the spot for his previous offence.
We all know that Amos was arrested not because he offended religious groups, but for political reasons, making fun of Lee Kuan Yew when he had just died. After Amos was released from jail, he continued to make videos which became very popular, condemning the PAP government, and saying that Amos had offended Islam was just another excuse to arrest and silence him. Although he wasn't charged and was only asked to show up for an investigation, he knew that if the investigation continued, he would definitely be charged and sentenced, and this time since it was a repeated offence, probably sent to 3 years of RTC, which is why he chose to run away from home.
I remember he wrote in his blog that he only has enough money to survive for another 3 months from the crowdfunding of his court case. That was in January, it has almost been 3 months since. The bank and PayPal accounts that Amos set up by himself for the transfer of funds from people (POSB savings: 124-91889-8 (Swift Code: DBSSSGSG), PayPal: amosyee@gmail.com), I never have access to.
Knowing Amos has never been good at handling money because seeing how fast he spends money from his bank account, I think he has no money anymore and I'm very fearful he hasn't been able to eat. Maybe he ran out of money and needed to sell his laptop which is why he hasn't posted anything for the past 2 months. I really don't know and I am very confused and sad.
I think that Amos' words are disrespectful and rude, but I don't ever think that Amos should have been sentenced or put to jail because of it. Amos is a boy with very strong views and will pursue them, so I understand why he went on the run, but because of that I worry about him every day. People keep on telling me stories like why Amos has kept quiet for so long was because the government has secretly captured him, or that he has been drugged or killed. Thinking about the things that could be happening to Amos, I am unable to sleep well at night and I'm very worried about him.
If anyone knows where Amos is, please tell me, and if he insists on keeping it confidential, please help him to the best that you can. As a mother who has taken care of him for the past 17 years, I am really very worried. He doesn't have any life skills, doesn't know how to clean or sweep or cook. Either the grandparents’ maid or I have been doing things for him most of the time, and now that he suddenly has to live without my help, I'm really feeling very frightened.
Please, if anyone knows where Amos is or can offer him help or help me get in touch with him, please private message me here on Facebook. I don't know what is happening to Amos, I hope Amos is alright, I hope my dear son is safe ...
Mary Toh
Source: Mary Toh's Facebook