Then, three months after the 16-year-old plunged to her death, Madam Ng Siang Mui's grief-stricken and guilt-ridden daughter, who was the teen's mother, also killed herself.
The tragic double deaths has left her son-in-law, who is the teen's father, mentally unstable.
Fortunately, more children and teenagers have been seeking help for suicidal thoughts, said the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS).
In an interview with The New Paper, Madam Ng, 71, shared the devastation and anguish of the triple tragedy that began in January this year.
She was reluctant to speak at first, noting that the death had torn the family apart.
Madam Ng initially said: "Talking to you now is useless. My daughter is dead. My granddaughter is dead."
She changed her mind later because she hoped that sharing their story could help highlight early intervention and save more lives.
Madam Ng said that in January, just three hours after getting her results slip, her granddaughter jumped to her death.
Except for two Bs - in English and Mathematics - the student had scored distinctions for her other subjects.
The only child left a note for her parents: "Mum, I am sorry for being a disappointment. I should have done better.
"Dad, I am sorry you will not have the chance to walk me down the (church) aisle to give me away."
The child's parents used to fight over their daughter's education. The girl had been a straight-As student who attended a top school.
The mum wanted to push her to excel and her dad felt that the child should be left alone.
"My Xiao Mei (her granddaughter's nickname) was always affected whenever her parents fought over her studies," Madam Ng said in Khek.
At Madam Ng's request, we are not naming the parents or their child.
Madam Ng said: "My son-in-law felt very sorry for his daughter. He used to approach me to help him talk to my daughter, to ask her not to push Xiao Mei too hard. He felt that they should let Xiao Mei be, as she was a good girl.
"Whenever I tried to broach the issue with my daughter, she'd get angry and tell me not to interfere with the way she wanted to bring her child up.
"She often compared Xiao Mei's results with those of her friends' children and would ask, 'How come so and so can do this and you cannot?'"
Xiao Mei's mother wanted her to get into medical school.
A family friend, Mrs Lynn Wee, 45, a housewife, spoke of how she and three other close friends had tried to keep watch over Xiao Mei's mother after the funeral.
Mrs Wee said: "She maintained a stoic front and even admitted that she would have been disappointed with her child's academic performance."
But that facade slowly slipped in the weeks that followed, said Madam Ng, who has three grandsons from two other children.
Madam Ng said that a month after Xiao Mei's death, her father moved out.
"That broke my daughter's heart. I think it was then that she, too, gave up living.
"When Xiao Mei died, I didn't just lose one child. Her mother, my own daughter, killed herself three months later."
Madam Ng recalled the conversation she had with her daughter a day before she killed herself.
"She told me, 'Ma, I shouldn't have pressurised Xiao Mei in her studies. You didn't do that to us when we were young and we all turned out fine'."
The New Paper understands that Xiao Mei's father is seeking psychiatric help.
Added Madam Ng: "If only we had noticed or realised that Xiao Mei was suffering, we could have asked for professional help and this tragedy would have been prevented."
When Xiao Mei died, I didn't just lose one child. Her mother, my own daughter, killed herself three months later.
0 comments:
Post a Comment